


Gotham is cooler than Beverly Hills

by ThatCreepyGirl



Series: Ice Cream and Popcorn [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Everyone is tired, F/M, Harley is 13, Pre-Relationship, because Joker, eating ice-cream, nothing disturbing here, rating is for some language and violent threats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 15:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18210134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatCreepyGirl/pseuds/ThatCreepyGirl
Summary: "Any ideas on why I shouldn’t put your eyeballs in this little cup, sugar?" he waved his spoon around the said cup in his white hand."They match my backpack" she hummed, flatly.He glanced at her bag on the ground behind them. It was baby blue. That brought a snort out of him.___An AU where Harley meets the infamous clown as a teenager. A conversation ensues and a dessert is shared.





	Gotham is cooler than Beverly Hills

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be clear: there is no actual pairing yet. I'm going to make it a series and nothing romantic will start until Harley is sixteen.  
> Joker has been around Gotham for a year here and these are early years of Bruce as Batman as well.  
> This is my first fanfic in years and a first one to post on AO3, so hopefully it's not too cringy :)

She didn’t like Gotham. Harley came to that conclusion as soon as their car got stuck in a stupid traffic jam on the city’s entrance bridge. Both she and her little brother Barry became restless in the first ten minutes. While the boy was messing with his toys and, oh God, his shoelaces, Harley decided to look around, as much as it was possible. With the nice background sound of their parents arguing silently over something not important again, the girl with two happy pigtails started to observe everything she could see from the car window. The sky was light grey, the water was dark grey and the tall buildings, that she could see on the horizon, were multiply shades of grey.

How. Promising.

It was beyond teenager’s understanding, for why their family had to leave Brooklyn for Gotham. She rather liked it there, despite not having any real friends at school. As any girl her age, Harley had her secret place in secluded park area, where she would tell stories to squirrels and pigeons, hoping they would give her any answers on what was happening to her body and feelings, while feeding them that horrible lunch her mom prepared for her and drawing funny faces on the bench with pink chalk. Okay, maybe other girls didn’t have such thing going on. But it was all she could afford and crave, living in a rather dysfunctional family, with parents constantly screaming at each other and an absolute idiot of a baby brother. They were barely holding up with their monthly budget, when dad had all of a sudden got that promotion in Gotham City. There was, in fact, a lot of fuss about Gotham lately, with all those stories about a muscled guy, that was dressing up as a bat and beating up criminals. Harley had found that rather amusing. Her mom was ecstatic from the idea of them living in the centre of events. She explained to kids that it was almost as cool as living in Beverly Hills. Harley liked Beverly Hills, the ladies there had beautiful sparkling dresses and chihuahuas. At least, that’s what TV taught her. Maybe she will grow to like Gotham too. But for now, she didn’t find it appealing at all. With that thought, she sank deeper into her seat and signed, waiting for the cars to start moving. 

***

Sad and lonely. That’s what Harley felt like most of the time. When she was younger, little miss Quinzel was one true social butterfly, all smiles and giggles. Now, only few things left from that were her ever present short pigtails and flared mini skirt. Her posture clumsy and unsure, too surprised and confused with the adolescence, that came so unexpectedly. She was only thirteen, but sometimes it felt like she was so old and tired. It’s been a whole month since they moved to Gotham. The city was loud, noisy and toxic in more ways than one. School was not much different here, with the only difference being that instead of conspiracy theory group, there were Batman fans. Oh, and the boys. They wouldn’t let Harley even breathe alone. She’d never been catcalled before, nor had she heard horny comments from the senior students. It was all so new and scary to her. She didn’t like them back, nor the girls that watched her with envy and jealousy. All Harleen wanted was some time alone. And that’s how she found herself in a random park, hiding in the shadows from the sun. First sunny day in a while and, unexpectedly, it’s not welcomed. She was rather hoping for some gloomy weather, to match her edgy teenager thoughts. Laying behind a massive tree and searching animal shaped clouds in the unusually blue sky, Harley mused about life. What had future prepared for her? She was a very good athlete and mom expected her to pursue career in sports, but Harleen Quinzel was more than just a jumping doll. She knew that and wanted to prove it. Maybe even choose something scientific, like…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sound of lighter flickering, and someone taking a deep smoke, somewhere above her. The girl turned her head in the direction of noise, wondering how had she missed the sounds of footsteps coming over. 

Leaning against the very same tree, towering over the school girl, was a very strange looking man. He was quite tall and very lanky, broad shoulders and long legs. His skin was extremely pale and his hair bright green, sticking in every direction. He was wearing a faded grey coat and a pair of jeans, which didn’t suit him at all, she decided. Harley could dismiss him as another rebel freak, after all, this strange city was full of them, but the thing is - he didn’t look like one. He seemed like he was in his mid thirties, which was definitely too old for the silly punk kind that gathered in the evenings near garbage bins. He had a very well defined widow peak and seemed too unbothered by the state of his hair, which made them look sickly natural, as if he was born like that. And his basic choice of clothing kind of made it obvious that he didn’t want to be noticed. But what really intrigued Harleen, were his eyes. Emerald green orbs, almost as bright as his hair, were looking her up and down with mild curiosity. 

"Don’t tell me this lame disguise actually works, kid". He broke the silent staring with a raspy voice, full of mock and sarcasm and something else, and took another drag from his cigarette. He had very sharp face features, long nose and narrow jaw with 5 o’clock shadow and his thick eyebrows were a slightly darker shade of green. Harley felt first stings of blush on her cheeks. He was very unique and it made him strangely handsome.

"Um… I don’t believe we’ve met before, sir. Unless I shall know you from somewhere?" she asked. After all, Gotham WAS as cool as Beverly Hills in its own sense. Though instead of ladies with chihuahuas there were costumed lunatics that haunted the city at nights.

At that, he laughed. Just a small high pitch giggle, but it was enough to send chills down teenager’s spine. He was definitely one of them. Too bad Harley haven’t check any criminal chronics.

"Now would you look at that!" He fidgeted and changed pose, putting wrist under his pointed chin. "You allow yourself to rest for a couple of months in that shithole of a hospital, and BOOM!" - he stepped away from the tree, making jazz hands. "Everyone forgets about your sorry existing. What a shame, guess I will have to refresh some memories". Something it his eyes flickered, brining a sinister flavour to his broad smile.

In that instant, it clicked in Harley’s head. She heard about that on the radio but didn’t put much attention to the details. Some loon had escaped from the local asylum a few days ago, the one which is located in a significant isolation from the city. Arkham, that is. They didn’t say any names or descriptions, most likely not to scare people in advance, but her classmates have been bating all day who it was this time. Kids were so casual about it, as if it’s something they do on a regular basis. It made Harley sick in her stomach, but she guessed that it might actually be true. She jumped on her feet, in case things go south.

"I apologise!" Harley blurted as soon as the realisation hit her. "Me and my family have moved to Gotham just a few weeks ago. We are from Arizona, so I haven’t really looked into stuff happening over here. I’m sure locals remember you well, for whatever reasons you want them to…" Well, that was a little exaggerated. Though, maybe he would find it convincing and let her be.

The asylum escapee rolled his eyes in annoyance and put hands on his knees, leaning forward so he would be on the same eye level with the girl. 

She definitely shouldn’t lie to him.

"As if your thick Brooklyn accent doesn’t give you away, you lying little bitch". He smirked. "Gotta come up with something better, dear."

Everything inside her froze. This man was dangerous, Harleen could see it in his shiny green eyes. Who knew what he was capable of. What if he gutted her next second. Or used her in inappropriate ways. And then gutted. 

For some sick reason these thoughts made her excited as much as scared. Talk about issues.

"W..well, i-if you didn’t want to be rec-cognized, maybe you shouldn’t come s-so close to me, than? There are plenty of other… trees" she tried, somehow growing a pair of balls. He searched her face for a moment or two, his expression blank, not giving away any emotions the man could feel. And then suddenly he started to laugh. Loud and delighted, titling his head straight up to the sky.

"That was a bold one, girly!" he managed through giggles. He than gathered himself and straightened, towering over blonde’s petite pose yet again. "Alright-y, whatever your deal is, let’s do this thing: I buy you some ice-cream in that truck over there" he pointed his long skinny finger in the direction of the said ice-cream truck outside their little forest "and you forget you’ve ever seen me. Sounds like a plan?"

"Oh.. that’s unnecessary. I won’t tell anyo…" he grabbed her cheeks in the squishy manner, silencing her. The mystery loony man looked pissed, his happy mood gone.

"Listen dear, I’m not above killing children" he hissed. Harley gulped. Then his rich mimic changed again and, releasing her, he continued in a light tone: "but you are a rather cute little one! So go over there and do as I said, before I changed my mind!"

He than searched for something in his coat’s pocket and took out 10 dollars, shoving it to her with a bright smile.  
Not tempting him, she took the money, which was obviously too much for an ice-cream cone and walked to the truck. Before she reached her destination, an idea hit her.

"What can I get you, honey?" an elderly chubby lady asked her cheerfully.

"Two pistachio and vanilla cups, please!" she said confidently, glancing to the side of the trees. She could see his shape behind them. Good.

Of course, she could just take her ice-cream and walk away. He didn’t give her any instructions on that, after all. But Harley was… well, Harley. So, she decided to stick with her plan. 

And so, after she paid for the order and got change, Quinzel held full round cups in both hands and, smiling her best cheerleader smile, went towards her unexpected companion. The green haired man looked absolutely confused for a moment, but quickly gathered himself and the next time Harleen blinked, he was sporting his usual crooked smile. She levelled with him and hold out one cup, still smiling at him, though the corners of her plump lips twitched nervously, giving away the anxiety she was fighting, as well as the slight tremor in tiny hands.  
After a short pause the supposed criminal took the cup, raising one eyebrow at her. The school girl than took out the change from her uniform jacket and, feeling her heart beating chaotically somewhere in the throat, put cash into the pocket of his grey coat. Not being capable to bring herself to hold his intense gaze, Harley stared bluntly at the grass under her feet. It was green, just as his hair. 

"You are either absolutely dumb or enormously crazy, girly" he said with… was it admiration in his voice? Tearing away their gaze from the grass, baby blue orbs met vivid green again. He was smirking. Of course. "Or both".

"Maybe" was all she said, before bringing a small pink spoon with cold creamy substance to her mouth.

"Any ideas on why I shouldn’t put your eyeballs in this little cup, sugar?" he waved his spoon around the said cup in his white hand.

Oh, now he was just trying to be creepy on purpose. His eyes gave away his genuine amusement and interest. If Harleen knew who this man really was, she would probably know better than try to get him invested in conversation with her, but she didn’t.

"They match my backpack" she hummed, flatly.

He glanced at her bag on the ground behind them. It was baby blue. That brought a snort out of him.

"Not a bad one" he than brought his cup to hers, clicking them as if it were fancy glasses of champagne and not ice-cream from an alley "Chin chin!".

"Chin chin" she couldn’t fight back a dumb smile that was forcing itself on her red face. He was an oddball in all ways one can be an oddball, and he had threatened her multiply times already, but there was something undeniably charming about his demeanour.

"You know, I really don’t know who you are".

"I figured. You would be running like a sprinter from here if you did" he mused, eating his dessert peacefully.

"It’s that bad?" she searched his face. Whatever it was, he didn’t intimidate her anymore. It was a very dumb confidence, but Harley knew he wouldn’t harm her.

"Depends on your definition of bad".

Harley pondered on that.

"Do you rape little girls and then consume their flesh?"

At that he laughed out loud, not even bothering if someone could hear his maniacal cackling. 

"No" he managed through his outburst "At least, not without consent".

"Well, couldn’t be worse than that".

"I guess so".

They finished the rest of the ice cream in silence, constantly glancing at each other. Harleen even found it in herself to sit back on her spot under the tree. 

"Well, that’s been some fun, but I need to go" he stated, throwing empty cup in to the nearest trash bin "little girls in my sex dungeon are waiting".

She giggled, watching him going deeper into the park. 

"Take care, dolly" he waved without looking back at her.

When he was already ten meters away, something shifted inside the teenager and she shouted:

"My name is Harley!"

He stopped in his steps for a mere second, and than continued walking. She followed him with her eyes until he completely disappeared in the evergreens. For the first time in a while, she felt alive and happy.

After all, Gotham was much cooler than Beverly Hills.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little sketch! Let me know what you think!  
> You can find me as Erribeka on Tumblr, I'm always happy to discuss these series and Jarley in general. And I post my artwork there :)  
> Also, though I'm fluent in English, it's still not my first language, so if there are mistakes - feel free to correct me.


End file.
